The one thing that can shape your success in parenting: Your Beliefs
There is one thing that can really shape your success in parenting- your beliefs! On this episode, I want to talk about how your beliefs are influencing your actions and therefore your outcomes in parenting. This is likely happening without you really noticing and that is why taking a look at our beliefs, is so important.
Will you take the next step in creating new beliefs that support you and your family? Go to Raiseology.com/apply to book your free call so that you can start moving on the right path to being the best parent possible.
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“And then we know what happens when you have something that you’re not talking about because you think you’re alone. And the reality is that you’re not alone. And if you were alone, we wouldn’t be even having this podcast conversation. So many moms are feeling like this and they are feeling sort of guilty and ashamed about it, which makes it hard to get help.“
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00:00 Welcome to the Raiseology podcast with your host, pediatrician and parenting consultant, Sharon Somekh here to empower parents to raise resilient and independent children. Grab your coffee or your Margarita and let’s get started. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should be used to supplement rather than substitute the care provided by your physician.
00:23 Welcome back guys to the Raiseology podcast. So today I really want to talk about the one thing that can shape your success in parenting, your beliefs. So I know this is a real hot topic right now and lots of people are talking about this and you may not really be giving much thought to this because it’s really so automatic. Your brain is conditioned to your beliefs that have been formed over the last 20 to 35 years. These beliefs then influence your actions and your outcomes. And all of this happens often without you even realizing or thinking about it. The problem is often these beliefs can be exactly what is limiting you. If you don’t believe you’re capable of doing something, you may not give it a shot. Whereas if you truly believe it can work and will work, you’ll not only give it a shot, but you’ll actually do whatever it takes to make it happen and make it true.
01:25 So here are some questions to ask yourself, is it true? Is it serving me? Is it moving me towards my goals or away from my goals? And you can find evidence for any belief to be true or not true. The most powerful thing I can tell you is that you actually can choose what to believe and what not to believe. So many of the questions you may be asking yourself, don’t have a clear cut answer. For example, do I believe that I can have the relationship with my kids that I dream of? The way it works in reality is that first you choose a belief and then you start to justify what you believe. It makes us feel good or it prevents us from having to work hard to change.
02:22 You may as well believe in the stuff that will empower you rather than the stuff that will disempower you. I choose to believe that I can raise amazing children and that even my teenagers will come to me and ask me for advice, that they will always be wondering what I would do when I’m not there to help them make a decision and that they will be better off for it. And because I choose to believe that, I’m able to parent in a different way that allows that belief to become an absolute truth. Super successful people, for example, have such strong empowering beliefs surrounding their success. This is how you hear those stories about all of these ultra successful people that have had dozens of failures before they ultimately succeed. They believe that even if they lose, they are still capable of winning. They don’t allow their circumstance to dictate their beliefs.
03:28 Where does the power in your life lie? Is it with the external world or does it lie in you? If it lies in you, then anything you want to achieve in your life or in your parenting is absolutely possible. It may not be enough. You still need the right strategies and you still need to make the right decisions, but if you don’t have that initial belief that you have the ability to make things happen, then you will not be able to move through challenges and learning opportunities to truly be as successful as you can be. For most of us, we have one negative thought and then it spirals into a million other negative thoughts. I’ll give you one example.
04:19 What if my daughter doesn’t sleep through the night? Oh no. What if bedtime is a complete nightmare? What if she comes to my room and I don’t know how to bring her back? What if that means my husband is sleeping on the couch tonight because we’re not all comfortable in the same bed. What if I screw up at work tomorrow because I was up with her all night? You can see how that’s going to have you thinking, feeling, and behaving completely differently than if you choose to have empowering beliefs and develop a strong mindset to help you overcome any potential challenge.
04:54 I see this in myself and in my parenting and also in my clients. Things that might have thrown me off my game in the past no longer affect me in the same way. But it is honestly the result of so much training and hard work and building confidence and learning strategies. As a parent, there will always be people that want to put their 2 cents into the way you’re parenting. There’s so much parents shaming going on in every community and if you don’t develop a strong mindset that allows you to get past that, how does that affect your kids in the long run?
05:32 You need to learn to consciously change the way you feel about that so that you can be the parent you want your kids to have. So are you allowing your friends and family to determine how you parent your kids or are you deciding what you want and doing everything you need to do in order to achieve those goals? I’m inviting you to choose what you want to believe so that you can achieve the goals you truly want to achieve in your parenting.
06:03 People ask me all the time, how’s Raiseology different than other parenting programs? Well, I believe it’s my commitment to making sure that each mom in the program has everything she needs in order to reach her goals and the absolute first part of that is helping you to develop the ironclad mindset to help you be as successful as you can possibly be. We help you figure out why you’re having trouble with decisions, why you have trouble following through, why you’ve made decisions that don’t serve your family well, so that we can help you figure out what’s going on in your belief system and what’s stopping you. We help you get all of that figured out so that you can get on the path to making the best decisions with the greatest confidence and really get the results you’ve always dreamed.
06:56 I find that there are some companies that help you with parenting strategies, but they don’t address mindset and other companies that focus on mindset but don’t teach parenting strategies. At Raiseology, we help you develop an ironclad mindset and teach you the parenting strategies you need to be the best parent you can possibly be. And both of these things need to happen. You can’t have amazing parenting strategies and then be too timid or afraid to implement them consistently. And you can have the strongest mindset in the world, but if you don’t have proven parenting strategies, you’re going to fall apart too. So you’ve really got to have both and that’s what we want to give you. So get in a call with us and we can help you figure out what’s not working for you now, what you ultimately want, and how we can get you there in the most effective way possible. So go to Raiseology.com/apply to book your free call to get you as clear as we can and get you moving on the right path to being the best parent you can possibly be.
08:07 Thanks for listening to the Raiseology podcast. Head over to www.Raiseology.com where you’ll find plenty of, you’ve got this resources for parents and any links or tools mentioned in today’s show. Be sure to hit subscribe on your podcatcher so that you can listen to the next episode the minute it’s out, until next time, have an empowered week.
Meet Your Mentor
Sharon is a general pediatrician, loving wife and mother to 4 daughters.
After a decade of practicing general pediatrics and working with families, she realized there often wasn’t enough time while tending to children’s medical needs to help parents in the way that would be most helpful in shaping their children’s futures.
The Raiseology Program was developed to teach parents how to raise their children with the love and authority necessary to promote resilience and responsibility.
Sharon’s experience with hundreds of families as well as her own help her meet you where you are on your parenting journey to help you make it what you want it to be.
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