Episode 24 –
Hope isn’t Lost with Fertility Coach, Tasha Blasi

Episode 24

“And I had this perfect child and I felt really lonely in our house. And I felt like something was missing and then the guilt that came with that. I have a beautiful, perfect child that nobody deserves, like I got it. He is beautiful and healthy, sweet, funny, perfect. And I want more? And that’s what I work with these women now on. Don’t feel guilty for wanting the life that you want.”

Tasha Blasi is a fertility coach with a 100% success rate.

Crazy, right?!

Whether you’ve struggled with fertility issues or not, this episode is a must-listen!

Tasha explains the 4 elements she focuses on with her clients and why so many couples feel hopeless by the fertility industry right now.

Learn more about Tasha at TashaBlasi.com and schedule a 15 min call with Sharon here! Thanks for listening!

Subscribe on: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, and Google Podcasts
Click Here to Ready the Full Transcript

Welcome to the Raiseology podcast with your host, pediatrician and parenting mentor, Sharon Somekh, here to empower parents to raise resilient and independent children. Grab your coffee or your Margarita and let’s get started. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should be used to supplement rather than substitute the care provided by your physician.

 

Sharon: Hi, I’m Dr. Sharon Somekh. I’m the owner and founder of Raiseology. I’m a pediatrician, who is now offering full-time parent mentoring services. You can book your free 15 minute call at Raiseology.as.me. If you’ve never listened to the podcast, welcome, I hope you enjoy this episode. I wanted to just preface this episode by saying that we were having some technical difficulties during the interview, so unfortunately the sound quality suffers just a little bit, but the contents of this episode is so amazing and interesting and if you or anyone you know has been having trouble conceiving or ever had trouble conceiving, it is a must listen and honestly, even if not, it’s such an interesting story, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. I’m here with Tasha Blasi and I’m really excited to have you on the show today. We’re going to talk about fertility and infertility and I would love to hear a little bit more about what it is that you do.

 

Tasha: Thank you. Yes, I am a fertility ivf coach. So what I do is when women are having trouble getting or staying pregnant, I show them what they need, everything that needs to be customized, what they need to reach their goals.

 

Sharon: And how did you learn that you have a skill in this and, and how did you start doing it?

 

Tasha: That’s an interesting story. I, my first career was a biology and chemistry teacher and then um, when I met my husband or my sperm donor as I like to call him, I had to move to the east coast and did not get re-credentialed in teaching. So I moved into advertising, from there I started my path to parenthood and found out that my husband had low sperm count after trying for a long time. Uh, so we needed ivf and I eventually had to go through 10 rounds of IVF to have my two children, my son is round two my daughter is around 10, but it was after that experience that I became everyone’s bff or best fertility friend and everybody who needed to get pregnant in any way or, or definitely was going through ivf, they, they would be like, just talk to Tasha. She knows everything. And then it was, you know, I would say when I turned 40 I was kind of figuring out I don’t, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I knew what I was good at when I was successful at, but it wasn’t my life passion. And then I actually worked with a coach, Sarah Walton, and she pulled it out of me that what I should be doing is a fertility ivf coach. And of course I’d never heard of that or thought it existed, but she really put together for me, it was her idea and she’s like, this is what you should be doing with your life. So that is what started the Fertilitites Unite Project.

 

Sharon: So you know, we’ve discussed before that you actually have a crazy high success rate and I have talked about you with other friends and they don’t believe it. So can we talk about that and why you think that your success rate is higher than I think anybody would imagine.

 

Tasha: Yes. Yeah, it’s usually, it’s usually the husbands that don’t believe it. I don’t, I don’t get it as much from the women so that that’s fun. Yes. I have a 100 percent success rate and I base that on embryo transfers because everybody comes to me at different times. Some people come to me before they’re transferred, some people come to me before their egg retrieval, some people come to me being told they need to do ivf and want to get pregnant naturally. So how they come to me is all different ways. So I just measure my success rates on once there is an implantation or transfer, nobody has needed more than two embryo transfers before getting to a healthy pregnancy that stays.

 

Sharon: That’s amazing.

 

Tasha: Yeah. I think you know, the fertility industry is broken and I’m just going to say that I’m probably the first person to say that I, I know so much about it and I can, I know where and how it’s broken, but the first part, so, so let me back up. I deal with four elements. I know that you need four elements to ensure a successful round of ivf, and that’s your science, environment, mindset, and support. Okay? So what nobody. What everybody focuses on is just the science and that is very important. The type of medical team that you choose, what clinic is more important than the doctor? You should always pick the clinic first because those embryologists are more important than the doctor. And then of course the doctor’s protocol is important. Not as important as the embryologist, but very important. That’s what everybody focuses on.

 

Okay? And it’s the uterus and ovaries and nothing else. What I have found is that there are many other elements that can go into a successful egg retrieval or embryo transfer, and so that’s where the environmental issues, mindset and support come in to most naturally balance a woman’s hormones, most naturally reduce inflammation and then of course make her happier, healthier, feeling more empowered and ultimately more successful in a much faster time.

 

So what I like to say is it’s not about just using the fertility clinic or just, you know, using me. We compliment each other extremely well. I work very closely with fertility doctors and the ones that know me and that we work together. We have a love, a loving relationship. They love what I do for their clients and know that I helped them get to a successful round of IVF. And of course I love what they do for my clients because I can’t do what they do and they can’t do what I do.

 

Sharon: Which is great. What is the one thing that you wish every client knew going into this process?

 

Tasha: The one thing that is hard. I think when, when I’m talking to somebody, I get like a gut punch. When I look at somebody’s case and I can clearly see what went wrong and it’s because the clinic isn’t able to do what they say they can, but the clinic is telling them either just try again, just try again or worse. They’re telling the client, well, we’ve tried three times and it’s failed. Let’s start all over with donor eggs and try again. And that, oh my God, when I see that, when I see a case like that where I know so clearly what went wrong and that they don’t need donor eggs. I think that is, that’s the, that’s the hardest part of, you know, sometimes my cases, um, and, and even worse is, is how I think exhausted is the right word.

 

How exhausted the woman is that comes to me and therefore can’t fathom that they just spent all that money, all that time doing it a way that’s not going to get them to the results. And often it’s hard for them to believe me that they can get pregnant using their own eggs. And they really have to. You know, I have a lot of women that, that when they work, when they find me, they’re like, well I’m just working with you because you’re my last resort. So I guess I don’t know. Sometimes I get, they’re like, I can’t wait to work with you, but more than often it’s alright, fine. Like you try.

 

Sharon: I’ve been through it all.

 

Tasha: I don’t want to be here. So, but whatever, like that’s a hard place to start. It’s not for me. I, I’ve, I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it so many times. I love that because I know that if they, if they give me a chance. Okay. And that’s the biggest thing with these. These women are so burned out, exhausted. It’s really hard for them to trust again. But if they give me a chance, I can turn that around so beautifully. And I mean, you know, I’m thinking of my one client Allison, after $100,000, four years I think four ish, maybe five rounds of IVF with nothing to show for it. She joined me basically saying like whatever. And, and honestly, for the first two months, maybe month, she was lying to me, telling me that she was doing great and doing everything and she’s like, finally one day she’s like, you’re just so happy and positive and confident in me that I’m just like, I’m just bullshitting you.

 

And so we had to. I was like, okay, good to know. Okay. And, and I just made her take small steps towards reaching her goal. Now her goal of course is to get pregnant and she’s well on her way. She hasn’t. I told her, I’m like, you’re going to have a basketball team at this point with all these embryos. But for her, my goal was to get her out of her emotional kind of brokenness. She had lost friendships over it. She couldn’t be around people over it. Uh, she was so angry about it. Rightfully so, she had every right, understandably, but me helping her turn that around using simple tools. It’s simple, but it’s powerful stuff that I’ve created. And that’s what, you know now when I talked to her, she’s like one of my happiest clients. She’s like the biggest supporter. And that I love to see, I know that she is so happy and confident and positive and successful in her journey for the first time. And that’s, that’s really cool.

 

Sharon: Yeah, that’s amazing. I mean, life changing for her and for her family.

 

Tasha: Yes. And, and that’s a great point is people don’t realize these, these tools that I’m teaching to be more confident and empowered and less anxious, less stressed through this process is life lessons. The theme is fertility, but once you’re pregnant, how do you stay positive and excited instead of nervous and really scared. Once you have the baby, how do you not let your anxiety of, oh my gosh, this thing is here now. What and how do I protect it from everyone and everything? You know, these are all life lessons that can build on every stage of parenthood, which the stakes just keep getting higher.

 

Sharon: Yeah, that’s for sure. Do you have a lot of clients or experience with families who maybe have a child or even to and are struggling not with primary infertility, but with secondary infertility and I imagine you do. How is that different and do you treat it differently?

 

Tasha: Yes, I do have a lot of women that are trying for their second or even third doing ivf. I think that and that, you know, secondary infertility was really, I call it secondary fertility issues. I don’t like the word infertility, fertility challenged or fertility issues. No, I get it. That’s the real word. But um, I had that. So my son was round two of IVF. The first round I had an early miscarriage and the second round was Hudson easy, you know, that I would have never considered that a difficult fertility journey. And then it was for Mila, where I went through round two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine with not even a positive pregnancy test. And that was so confusing and hard and weird. And I’ve, I’ve written about this, I feel that secondary fertility is harder than primary fertility issues simply because first of all, you’re older, so now you don’t know what your body can and can’t do anymore.

 

I mean the doctors, you know, tell you after 35, you’re basically a senior citizen in fertility age. And also, you know, there’s also that idea of like a little taste of honey is worse than none at all and I had this perfect child and I felt really lonely in our house and I felt really like something was missing. And then the guilt that came with that, I have a beautiful, perfect child that nobody deserves. Like I got it. He is beautiful and healthy, sweet, funny, perfect. And I want more? And that’s what, what, you know, I, I worked with these women now on, don’t feel guilty for wanting the life that you want. You get to create whatever life you want. You get that because your a wonderful loving mother that wants another child. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s something beautiful about that. And you deserve that. You’ve worked hard, you’re a good person, you show your children’s so much love, you deserve whatever family unit you want. So that’s kind of, you know, a big theme when people are going to through secondary fertility issues. And another part of, I think what makes it so hard, is your in Mommy-ville, right? If you have a kid, you are now like for me, I moved to the suburbs, bought a house with extra rooms, but you know, a car with a third row option for all my car seats that I was going to have. And I was like, oh my God, like.

 

Sharon: Everybody around you is probably having another baby.

 

Tasha: Worse. My son was the only kid in his preschool that did not have a sibling. And he would bring in pictures of him and his cousin, which was like basically telling me, you know, Mommy’s failing. And I was like, this is, this is horrible and heartbreaking. Everybody couldn’t stop accidentally getting pregnant, you know. And of course we get. People are like, Oh God, I’m pregnant. What? And I’m like, oh my God, I can’t deal with it.

 

Sharon: I’m trying so hard.

 

Tasha: And I think that’s also, um, really what, what makes secondary fertility issues even harder is, is you’re, you’re in the middle of this life where you, you kind of have it, but you’re not quite there yet. And then you feel guilty for wanting more. But the other thing I knew, and, and this, this really, you know, resonates with women going through secondary fertility issues. I knew I needed a life with at least two children and that was such a strong sense of what I knew my life needed to look like and be. And I wasn’t. And I think people are like, how did you do 10 rounds of Ivf? And I joke, I’m like, well, first of all, don’t forget I was successful quickly. Right? So if I wasn’t, I don’t know if I could have done 10 rounds, you know, and only gotten pregnant at the time from. I don’t know if I could have done that.

 

Sharon: Right. You know, it worked for you at some point.

 

Tasha: I always say it was like a bad boyfriend. Like at first, they’re amazing. They’re so good. You, they give you, they’re generous, they take you on trips or they want to hang out and then slowly they start to show you, I’m kind of me. No you’re not, you’re a great guy. Then I was dating, you know, six months ago, and then they’re like, yeah, you’re right. I am. Yeah, and then they do something else and you’re like, you would have never dated him if he acted like that in the beginning, but you were hanging out a little bit of bad behavior, and then soon you’re like, wait a second. How is this happening? Why am I in this relationship?

 

So that is my relationship with Ivf, but I knew for a fact that I was going to continue doing ivf, doing anything possible. I didn’t care if I needed to go to donor eggs, adoption, surrogacy. I looked at everything. I knew that I was going to have another child, so I don’t know if that’s something I should be proud of or if it’s a telltale sign that I’m officially insane. I just had this sense of I will have another child and there was no other option that.

 

Sharon: Yeah, I mean that. I have seen that in, in my office. I had a lovely family that. I mean, it was heartbreaking to me and still like so joyous at the same time that this family had gone through 11 rounds of Ivf before conceiving their first child. And it is amazing to me, I guess the character that it probably takes to go through that and how that really shapes a person’s life and their future and how they feel about their child for sure. Which is just amazing to me. I don’t know that I would have that strength and so I, I find it really empowering to see that other people do.

 

Tasha: Yeah. In two things about that, you know, I had insurance covering almost every round. I only had to pay out of pocket one round and I think that really helped. I didn’t have to think about how other people I work with are, are taking out loans. They’re getting help from their parents. I was lucky enough by kind of accident, I kept on getting insurance to pay for it because my company changed insurance companies and then I changed jobs and you know, things. Things happen where my, my money was replenishing in terms of fertility, but that’s something that needs to change. This shouldn’t be, you know, this was a medical issue where we’re trying to make our bodies just functioned properly and it shouldn’t have to be that we need to find, we need to take out loans to allow to have medical procedures to make our bodies function properly.

 

And the second part of that is I always say, if I knew then like you talk about your client that went through 11 rounds before they were successful. Oh my God. What I know now is that if I knew then what I know now, I would’ve never needed 10 rounds. And that’s the other thing about this process where I say it’s broken. I don’t think that this process is properly executed at the clinic and properly experienced by the client. And the biggest part of that is education and preparation. We, as the women going through it, can’t feel it. We can’t see it. We just have to trust that what is happening and what the doctors are telling us is true. And that’s really a big part of this, like hearing she goes through 11 rounds before success. That is insane. And that tells me like somebody missed something big time, you know, how am I able to get people through only two rounds without success and somebody is going through a 11 before success like that just tells, that shows me how these systems need to be in place before you even start ivf to ensure that you don’t do that.

 

Sharon: Yeah, I agree. I think there needs to be more awareness that there are other avenues that can be helpful in conjunction with the fertility clinics and hopefully this is the first start of that. Right. And so do you work with families or couples where the fertility challenged is involving the male partner?

 

Tasha: Yes. Actually 40 percent of all fertility cases, the male has an issue, 40 percent. So it is a lot more common than we think and of course that any than anybody talks about. Unfortunately for some reason women are are more okay with kind of taking the brunt of the blame of why we’re doing this. Women are tend to be a little bit more open about needing to do this when it comes to it being a male issue. We are so protective and so secretive about it and that also doesn’t make sense to me. So my husband has low sperm count. Okay. He is six, six. He was an awarded athlete all of his life. He is amazing, wonderful person. Successful in his job. Amazing, amazing father there is. You would never, there’s nothing that you would look at and say, Oh my God, look at that low sperm count guy. There’s nothing about the person’s self or or abilities or physical or mental capabilities that is affected by low sperm count and yet we’re so embarrassed to say that somebody has low sperm count and it’s not always just those sperm count, but that’s kind of, you know, sperm issues in general, mobility, morphology tends to be the biggest reason.

 

Sharon: So how do you help those couples?

 

Tasha: The men with low sperm count tend to have a lot of guilt. So what I do, I help couples do ivf together and really whether it’s a male or female issue, ivf tends to be such a neat project on one person’s side instead of a project. So I help couples in general and whether it’s same sex couples or heterosexual couples make Ivf lab project, but when it comes to the man has a, an issue causing it, that’s where being able to do as much as possible with your wife or partner becomes especially important so that both feel like we’re doing this together and there are very few key things that the partner should be involved in to make a difference. You know, I always say I’m allergic to people wasting my time, so I don’t waste people’s time. Like do I think that the partners should go on every monitoring appointment? No, I don’t think they should go on any monitoring appointment unless they need to be there. But there are things that they can do to make it a we project so that you two are in this together. Communication is open. Goals are on point and and it’s gonna feel like you’re really in this together instead of 97 percent of the emotional and physical work being on one person.

 

Sharon: So just to be clear. So even when it is a sperm issue, as we’re calling it, you are still able to help with the IVF process and hopefully get them to have a successful journey.

 

Tasha: Yes, a lot of my clients, it’s a male factor fertility issue. Okay.

 

Sharon: Yeah. Yeah. That was actually a question someone had asked me about you. I think it’s interesting and I think it’s good for people to know that you are available no matter what the issue is to help them get through the process.

 

Tasha: Right. Right. Show them how to. Especially if you. He has really, really low sperm count, you know, some people have none how to go about the process.

 

Sharon: Interesting. Yeah. Great. I guess, do you have any like really crazy stories to tell that would be interesting and exciting for people to hear?

 

Tasha: Oh my gosh. I mean every one of my clients I feel like has an interesting story. Let’s see. I’ll, I’ll. The one I just talked to, she is 40 and she was denied IVF by every fertility doctor, so she’s on her second marriage. She has a child from her first marriage and she is being told she does not make a eggs or enough eggs to do ivf and was denied from a lot of fertility clinics, a lot of the famous ones. And so she came to me and you know, I, I guarantee my work. So what I say is we, we discuss a goal and you know, for most it’s I want to get pregnant, but you know, sometimes the goals are different depending on where they start, but I am result based. So if I cannot, if your result is you want to get pregnant and I cannot show you how to quickly get pregnant, I guarantee my work, you get your money back. It’s simple

 

This goes along with my mission of changing the industry and I believe everybody should be accountable for what they say they can do in the industry because it only benefits one party when you know, the longer you’re in a process, the more money I make. Like that doesn’t resonate with me, so for me it’s, if I can’t get you to result, you get your money back, period. To date, I’ve never given anyone money back, but you know, you never know. So anyway, she came to me and she said, nobody will allow me to do ivf. I do not want to consider donor eggs, will you work with me? And I said, well, if your goal is, you know, for the next three months, let’s say, I will show you exactly what you need to do to get your body ready to have a successful egg retrieval and I will find a very good, an exceptional, I will give you choices of exceptional clinics and doctors that will take you. And at the end of it you will know that you have done everything possible to get pregnant using your own eggs before considering donor eggs.

 

And she said, yes, that is my goal. I want to know I’ve done everything possible trying to use my own eggs. So that was it. I didn’t know if, if I had to call in some favors. So somebody telling me they, they can’t even get somebody to do ivf for them. I can’t say, yeah, I can guarantee to get you pregnant. So for her that was our kind of pact. I said, you will know you’ve done everything possible. Okay. So I made some calls and I found two exceptional fertility clinics willing to take her case and she chooses one. I show her how to. She saved $33,000 on her package of fertility treatments. I showed her how to kind of save a lot of money. That’s a, that’s I, I do everything for my clients, but saving money is a big part of it and she has a frozen embryo on ice right now.

 

And so she went through her egg retrieval. There were only two eggs. They took both of them out, both of them fertilized. And of course one was healthy and is on ice and then she went on and was allowed because she was able to produce eggs because they said we’ll try it once. If it works you’ll get another shot. And she was able to try it again. So she is now, she just called me because she’s only, you know, she called me kind of freaking out that they’re only seeing one follicle this time, but I’m not worried, I’m not worried about it.

 

She can, she can do this, but that’s I think a really cool story of somebody being denied treatment and me being able to help kind of facilitate her getting treatment, the right treatment, the right kind of this huge. And then she has a frozen embryo on ice. We don’t know what’s going to happen with it, but I think that’s. That’s fun.

 

Sharon: Definitely promising. Well thank you so much for talking to us about what it is that you do and maybe educating us a little bit more about and that really there are a lot of options out there for families that are struggling and I’m sure that the audience would love to know how to connect with you, if they know anyone or need anything. So what’s the best place to find you and reach you?

 

Tasha: I would say the best place to find me is my website, TashaBlasi.com. And I offer to anybody a free consult where, you know, it’s a quick q and a, you tell me kind of where you’ve been and we get on the phone and then I, I’ll tell you the red flags that I see, whether it’s, it’s in the science, it’s in the environment, the mindset, or the support or all of it, but I offer people a structure. Anybody who calls me, we’ll get the. Here is what I see could be getting in the way of you successfully getting or staying pregnant. So I just ask, you know, anybody that is having issues, give me a call and see if I can help solve your fertility mystery.

 

Sharon: Great. Well thank you again for being here and I’m sure we’ll find another way to connect soon.

 

Tasha: Sounds great. Thank you so much for having me, Sharon.

Thanks for listening to the Raiseology podcast. Head over to www.Raiseology.com, where you’ll find plenty of. You’ve got this resources for parents and any links or tools mentioned in today’s show. Be sure to hit subscribe on your podcast so that you can listen to the next episode the minute it’s out. Until next time, have an empowered week.

Meet Your Mentor

Sharon is a general pediatrician, loving wife and mother to 4 daughters.

 After a decade of practicing general pediatrics and working with families, she realized there often wasn’t enough time while tending to children’s medical needs to help parents in the way that would be most helpful in shaping their children’s futures.

 The Raiseology Program was developed to teach parents how to raise their children with the love and authority necessary to promote resilience and responsibility.

Sharon’s experience with hundreds of families as well as her own help her meet you where you are on your parenting journey to help you make it what you want it to be.

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