Episode 2 –
Finding Your Why
“Being a better parent does not mean eliminating the challenges you have in your home but rather it means that you are developing the tools that you need to face those challenges in the most productive way possible.”
In this episode, Sharon teaches you how to use your WHY to get through parenting challenges. Do you know what type of people you want to raise your kids to be? The Raiseology Program contains a questionnaire to determine just that. Learn more about the Raiseology Program here!
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Sharon: You’re listening to episode two of the Raiseology podcast, Finding Your Why. Today we’re going to talk about discovering your why and what that means and why I think it’s so important. So for the first time listeners or people who don’t know me, I’m Dr. Sharon and I am a pediatrician who is also the mother of four beautiful, wonderful daughters and basically I have had a significant career shift in the sense that rather than practicing medical pediatrics, I have been coaching parents to become the parents that they want to be and truly figure out a way to enjoy their parenting and not worry so much about it. I started this after practicing pediatrics for 10 years and I felt that what I was doing a lot in the office was helping parents with their parenting struggles and unfortunately the way that office pediatrics works, there really isn’t a whole lot of time devoted to that and it is very difficult to truly do that in a way that I felt was as effective as I wanted it to be. And so I’ve decided to make a significant shift in my career and hopefully help lots of parents all over the world with their parenting needs.
So to start this, I basically started listening to a lot of business podcasts and reading business books and speaking with business coaches and there is a very common theme in all of those business related topics and that is finding your why and what does that mean. Basically what it means is that you are running your business in such a way where there is a significant goal in mind as you’re going through. And so for everybody that is different. For me, the main goal in running my business is to not only to help parents on a more global scale and truly change the way that parents are parenting, especially in the United States, but also to show my family, my daughters specifically, that there is a way to really truly find your passion and work hard towards making your goals a reality.
And so as I have moments in my business that may be frustrating for me or were maybe challenging for me, I am embracing those challenges and working through those frustrating moments with the ideas in mind that if I don’t work through them, I am not only doing a disservice to all those parents who could really use my help but also to my own daughters who are really looking to me for inspiration for their own lives. And for me, that is my why, that is super important. And I am trying to be as respectful of that as possible as I go through this journey of being an entrepreneur.
So how does that help you guys? Right. So in addition to working towards figuring out how to work through challenges in my business, I have really internalized this idea of finding your why to figure out how I am going to parent my children in a way that is reaching that end goal that I have for them as human beings and as people.
And so what I try to do is when I’m faced with the challenge that they are presenting me as a parent, which happens all the time, it would not be normal if your children did not present you with challenges, right? Remember that being a better parent does not mean that you are eliminating the challenges you have in your home. But rather it means that you are developing the tools that you need to face those challenges in the most productive way possible. And so as I’m presented with these challenges, when I’m not sure what the best way to react in a specific situation is, or what my best course of action should be, I think about what my why is for them. So why am I striving to be a good parent? And for me, the reason that I’m striving to be a good parent for them is that I really want them to become adult that can truly care for themselves, that can be confident in their own abilities, to do things in the future, that really know what it is that they want out of life, and they see the value of working hard to get those things and to make those things a part of their life.
And so when I am struggling through a challenge and trying to figure out what is it that will really help them become those people that I want them to become, I’m thinking about who I want them to become and using that to help me make my decisions. It is my philosophy that as a parent, my husband and I together are really responsible for much of the types of adults are children become in the future. And in a sense, I think that from the time that their babies, the choices that we make for them help them to develop the coping skills and the skills of independence and responsibility that they need in order to succeed. In this world, and while we cannot guarantee the success of our children, we can feel good in the future that we have done whatever it is that we could to foster those skills of independence, responsibility and those qualities of kindness and the manners that they need in order to really be well-rounded individuals in the future.
And so as I coach parents to go through even the toddler years and really try to stick to what it is that they know and believe they should be doing in certain situations. I talked to them specifically about finding your why and really thinking about that why when you are faced with these challenges. I’m going to give you an example. I was coaching a family recently that was having some sleep concerns and they have a two year old daughter and the two year old is really giving them a hard time when it comes to sleep. And of course this is something that is very common at the age of two. And we expect two year olds to be challenging. Some are challenging when it comes to sleep and some are challenging when it comes to other factors of life.
So she was very challenging when it came to sleep and she had some poor sleep habits to begin with and the parents acknowledged that they have a lot to do with that and there was a lot of responsibility on their part for helping her develop some of these bad habits, which is true and it’s not meant to be a judgmental comment. The truth is that there are many things that we do as parents that affect our children’s behavior. And I’m a firm believer that really most of our children’s behavior is reaction to our behaviors and it is really up to us to change our behavior if we’re looking to change their behavior. And so as I was coaching this family, we were talking about how when they put her to bed, they have a very hard time not giving into her. And my response to them was that they really need to think about the real reason that they are trying to create better sleep habits.
Right? And it may be for them that the reason they’re trying to create better sleep habits is because they need her to sleep and they need to sleep themselves, but more often than not, it really goes deeper than that. And the truth is that helping their daughter developed better sleep habits is something that she will need even for her future. And so while it is certainly beneficial to them that they are helping her develops sleep habits now as we know that if she sleeps better, her days will be more productive and she will behave better and if they sleep better, their days will be more productive and they will be more patient and less cranky but it is important to note that in the future she will need to have those sleep habits in order to be a successful adult and be able to function successfully and we sometimes forget that.
How we are teaching our children to create certain habits today when they’re toddlers really affect how they are in their future. And it is important to think about those things and consider that when you’re faced at the crossroads of Do I given or don’t I. Right? And I think that it is true that most of us know what it is that we want to do or need to do in certain situations, whether it be sleep or tantrum related or really any host of toddler a or school age behaviors that we’re seeing in our kids. And sometimes it’s, it is difficult to really react the way we know we should be reacting in those moments. And so I’m hoping that thinking about your why helps you in those moments. And really I would love to hear about that.
So if you’ve listened to this podcast episode and it has changed your mindset a little bit in terms of what you’re thinking when you’re faced with those challenges and if it has helped you stand a little bit more firm perhaps it’s helping you have different conversations with your kids and perhaps it’s really helping you to form different routines in your home or any host of changes that you could make with the simple mindset of thinking about why this is so important to you and why we are really trying to make changes in our families and why we are trying to help our children develop into responsible independent adults.
And if that is resonating with you and you are using that to make these changes, I would love to hear about it. So send me an email, Sharon@raiseology.com and let me know how you’ve made this change and if you need help figuring out how to even see if this is something that’s important to you or how to figure out what your why might be. I’m happy to help you guys with that. So head to the website, send me an email or schedule a call and we can discuss it. I think this is something that is really important. I personally view parenting as being almost similar to being the CEO of your family and it is our role as parents to really figure out what are the important changes that need to be made and with the assistance of our children and to make those changes as positive a way as we can and I do think it really does start with the why.
In my parenting program, I have a whole questionnaire that basically goes through figuring out what kind of human being you want to produce when your children are adults and what kind of person do you want them to be? Not what do you want them to be in terms of their career when they grow up, but really thinking about what choices do you want them making when faced with the more challenging choices that life has to offer. And I include that as the first thing in my program because I think that this is what helps us to really think about what we are trying to achieve in the future for our children’s future and really to to stick to the decisions that we’re making and not give into our children at a whim, or when they do make things a little bit more challenging and remember it is their job to make things a little bit challenging, but it is our job to overcome those challenges and it is really for their benefit.
Outro: Thanks for listening to the Raiseology podcast! Head over to www.Raiseology.com, where you’ll find plenty of You’ve Got This resources for parents and any links or tools mentioned in this episode. Be sure to hit subscribe on your podcatcher so that you can listen to the next episode the minute it’s out. Until next time, have an empowered week.
Meet Your Mentor
Sharon is a general pediatrician, loving wife and mother to 4 daughters.
After a decade of practicing general pediatrics and working with families, she realized there often wasn’t enough time while tending to children’s medical needs to help parents in the way that would be most helpful in shaping their children’s futures.
The Raiseology Program was developed to teach parents how to raise their children with the love and authority necessary to promote resilience and responsibility.
Sharon’s experience with hundreds of families as well as her own help her meet you where you are on your parenting journey to help you make it what you want it to be.
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